Reframe Perspectives– Either your world is perfect or it isn’t; it all depends on your perspective, the way you look at things. Everything will work out in the end, it always does. Meanwhile, your coach will help you reframe your perspective or get you to look at things differently so you can see more clearly and change your perception which in turn will change your mindset and prepare you for change. Shifting or reframing your perspective from one of imperfection to one that sees possibilities requires a great deal of experience and skill which is what a good coach will be able to achieve. Can the situation be better than this? Sure it can. We just need to think differently.
Align thoughts – making the right decisions based on possibly conflicting thoughts and ideas requires the careful analysis of each situation and development of potential scenarios to resolve dilemmas and achieve clarity. Further, achieving the balance between the heart and the mind is the most critical part of the coaching relationship. Helping you understand your feelings – what your heart really wants, as opposed to what your mind is telling you is a challenge that the coach will help resolve. Once your thoughts are properly aligned, making the adjustments needed in your behavior will be much easier and will result in actions that will produce the desired outcomes.
Eliminate doubts – Doubt is disempowerment. It leads to non-action. They are produced by our judgments and lack of clear thinking. There is no good or bad but thinking makes it so. Our way of thinking and how we judge someone or something has an effect on how we perceive the world, people and ourselves. Some forms of judgments can have us doubt our decisions. The coach helps liberate you from doubts to make you feel safer, confident, hopeful, and freer in life. Have you ever had a situation that looked like a disaster but it turned out to be positive, in fact perfect? Your coach is your friend, philosopher, and guide who will empower you and remove all doubts.
Validate Ideas – Sometimes there is no doubt in the mind of the decision maker. However, brainstorming ideas with an independent source will not hurt. It only helps validate the thinking, enhance conviction, and move you forward to action. There is a Chinese proverb that states” A participant’s thinking is clouded but the bystander’s views are clear”. Being too close to the situation can often create bias and getting an independent view of the choices you make can be extremely supportive and enhances your self-confidence. We are conditioned as human beings into thinking that there are different options and choices for action. Knowing what you have just decided has the full support of an independent source will keep you on track to keep on making better choices.
Build Trust – Imperfections are the breeding ground for doubt. Doubts block the development of trust. The key to trust is perfection. To trust is to liberate yourself from limitations. The coach opens your mind to see possibilities, to get “out of the self-imposed limitation” and perceive solutions. It may be a stretch to trust the fact that whatever you have perceived to be negative can in fact be positive. If we invert it, the imperfection you see can actually result in perfection. It is trusting the opposite, just as the opposite of fear is clarity. Fear is produced by ignorance, and clear thinking dissolves it.
Demonstrate Empathy – A coach most of all is able to put him\herself in your shoes and understand both your thinking and the associated feelings in a very sincere and selfless way. Showing that empathy, that understanding, will lead to the development of mutual trust between you and the coach. This bonding will allow you to open up your mind and heart to the coach and derive all the possible benefits to help move you towards your goals.
Co-develop SMART Goals – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time bound)-The best way to develop your goals are to do it with your coach. The most important strategy to ensure that goals are met is to ensure that they are aligned with your values. Very often you achieve your goals to find afterwards that it gave you no real joy. Hence the coach ensures that goals are set based on your core values, what you really want, as opposed to something that sounds good, or someone else thinks you should have. A coach is an objective observer who you can trust to keep you honest in your goal setting and then supports you to achieve them.
Change Behavior – You can’t change people, you can only change their underlying beliefs and so your behavior. Your coach is your catalyst for change. Without a coach you would be dormant. Change starts with self-awareness. The coach helps you understand yourself better – your strengths and weakness, what works well and what does not in your current job or in life. This is a huge step forward in your journey towards success. Once the awareness is achieved, it shapes your perception and changes your attitude towards yourself, your colleagues, and the business itself. Once an attitudinal shift happens, it invariably results in changes in behavior that makes it then possible for you to commit to action. This probability of success in terms of achieving change is highest when you work one on one with your coach. All change management consulting firms and heads of HR who sometimes think this happens because of training and workshops need to recognize this.
Create Positive Energy – Coaches create a sense of optimism that is essential to move you towards action. Even the goals are worded in a positive fashion- for eg. “I must find more interesting things to do in my current role” rather than “I have to stop doing this monotonous job”. Positive energy is created by positive self-talk that works both on the conscious and subconscious mind which will support you in creating what you want. A good coach enthuses you and infuses you with positive energy so you look forward to the behavior changes that you will need to make and the actions you are going to take to achieve your goals.
Commit to Action – The way to achieve your goals is through actions. But the action has to have intent – not just activity but focused on moving you towards your set goals. You cannot and will not commit to action without clarity of thought. Clear thinking is required to generate momentum – which is the commitment to action. Starting with your strengths is always a good way to start the journey towards your goals. For eg. Wanting to sell more may seem like a good goal, but if there is no commitment to action (very often fear of failure) because you have not yet been able.
Create Structure – Structure is the process of creating boundaries and standards around what you are doing. It is important because it creates a pattern for you to follow and allows others around you to know what is expected of you within that structure. Without a structure you can lapse into behaviors that are inconsistent with your goals. For eg. if you are wanting to finish all your emails before 9am so you can be free to do some creative thinking in the morning, it will require that you reach office by 8am. But if you do not create the appropriate structure that will enable you to reach office by 8am, your actions will not be consistent with your goals. The coach will ensure that you create the necessary structures that are needed to execute on your plans.
Achieve Desired Outcomes – “Be careful what you set your heart on, for it shall surely be yours”- Khalil Gibran. When the mind and the heart are in sync, and you are able to see clearly what it is that will make you happy, you go about making the appropriate changes in your life, which will bring you all that you desire and more. Happiness is a state of the mind, a mind that is free of clutter, free of inhibitions, and restraints that are self-imposed, manifested in your behaviors and reflected in your actions. Your coach is your partner, who will stand by you and help you achieve your goals, goals that are consistent with your values and will contribute to your happiness.
Clear Thinking Made Visible – Your thoughts are what will take you where you want to be. Your coach will help you think the right thoughts, and ensure that your clear thinking will become visible through your actions – actions driven by your behaviors which in turn are a product of your thoughts and will produce the desired outcomes.